"There is no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let people get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections" -Abdelnour
(The following post was initially shared on a series of Instagram captions published in October. I hope it encourages you to realise that despite the huge personal growth and journey I've made, I still go through times where I fall back in to old habits. I'm proud to admit that due to the extensive inner work I've done these times are becoming few and far between - but I'm not going to hide the fact that bad days still occur.)
Core Confidence inspires girls and young woman to be empowered, confident and completely in love with who they are today. Through its social media platform I want to share positivity, promote good self care habits but most importantly create a community. A community of girls that feel supported and loved in an environment that prioritises belongingess. Despite having the technology that allows us to be continously connected, most of us have never felt more alone and isolated*.
Core Confidence is my vehicle to break barriers. To serve. To connect - deeply - to yourself first and others second. To love. To be honest. To start conversations. To heal wounds. To prevent wounds. To let you know you are not alone.
Yes I have training. Yes I have qualifications. But in my eyes - experience counts for more. My previous personal experiences have certainly shaped how I want to spend my days and what I want to do with my life (Core Confidence!!), but they don't define my business or guide all my decisions. That is what makes the following hard to address, as I'm blurring the lines. I'm not sharing the following snippet of a recent difficult period of my life for your sympathy or pity. And I know to some it can be hard to understand why I felt the way I did - many others suffer through a lot worse. I'm not arguing that and I'm so grateful and thankful for all the love and health that surrounds me. I simply believe that perhaps moments of vulnerability and honesty can help. Help at least one other person feel less alone. Less isolated. And inspire you to reach out. Reach in. Talk. Walk. Breathe. Connect.
The last few months have seen stress at work and home and in my relationships soar. Each correlated to another. Nothing or no one was to blame. A disconnect within myself coincided with a myriad of environmental changes. My self care rituals were non existent. I was drowning in self pity and self doubt. I was unable to do anything to help myself. My usual support network was disturbed. My inner meanie was dominating, telling me not to bring others down with my negativity by being honest - amongst a barrage of other non helpful, untrue thoughts. In my own little dimension things were spiralling. But on the outside - I continued to smile. To work. To get on with it. Just. Some days I was faking better than others. Most days I broke down in tears behind close doors. On two occasions my world closed in on me, my heart raced away and I couldn't catch my breath.
It's ok. I'm okay. I wouldn't be able to write this if I was still faking. How? Why? Because I told someone. One person. I was going to cancel our catch up - I was hiding from everyone who was close to me as I knew it would be harder to fake. But I faced it. And it all came out. The words spilled from my mouth. We were both in tears. Instantly a weight was lifted. Slowly, the tears stopped. Gently, my mind set shifted. Her just being there - listening - not forcing me to explain, not asking me questions, not making assumptions, was what I needed in that moment in time. Was it hard. Heck yes. Was I terrified. Yes. But I knew something had to give.
My point - this was my reality. For you, it might be exam stress? Maybe it's always helping another friend and the help not being reciprocated? Maybe it's being confused about what path to take? I felt compelled to share this recent struggle with you as, with those feelings fresh in my mind, I want it known that despite promoting positivity, health, self love and self worth - it's ok not to feel it all the time. It's TOTALLY ok to struggle. What counts is the next day. And the day after that. What can you do to break the cycle? What strategies can you implement to make it better next time? What works for you?
For me -
1) reaching out. Having an honest, real conversation. Letting it out so it didn't continue to stew and spiral inside me. Sometimes a friend isn't enough and I highly recommend seeking out a trained professional if you are struggling. But for me in this moment, she was what I needed.
2) starting a journal. It's something I have pursued previously but chucked in the 'too hard, not enough time' basket. I know that getting thoughts onto paper will prevent them from building up inside my head.
3) gratitude. Including a quick list of three things I'm grateful for each day in my journal is a really easy, efficient way to focus on the amazing things and people I have in my life #blessed 😊.
I truly hope rather than bringing you down and focusing on the negative, you can pull out the positive and see the huge impact connection can have in your own life.
Sending you all so much love. Shine bright beautiful souls! ☀️
*Burke, M et al. Social network Activity and Social well being (2010), CHI '10
**if this content triggered anything in your own life, please reach out. Lifeline 13 11 14
***Core Confidence will provide workshops, courses and private mentoring for teens and young women to facilitate personal development activities and utilize the benefits of physical movement through core strengthening exercise. I am by no means a Psychologist or Doctor and urge everyone to seek the appropriate help they require. Please have a look through the website to see how I'm using my own training, qualifications and experience to serve others.